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I knew he was drinking coffee with Brigit’s breast milk in it. I envied him.“Trevor?”“Yes, Mr Johnson?”“I shouldn’t ask this, but do you have a girlfriend?”“Yes, sir. I thought everyone knew. She’s your secretary, Alice.”Aha! I thought. I wonder if she’s listening in. I looked at the intercom. She was.“Is that a problem?” I asked Trevor.“That isn’t the problem…”“But there is a problem and Alice being my secretary isn’t part of it. Have I got it right?”I thought at Brigit. ‘Help! I don’t know what to do and she’s listening in. This could get messy.’Brigit answered immediately. ‘Let him answer’.He said: “We want to get married but we can’t.”“And why is that?” I said as casually as I could.“Because she would lose her job and I can’t afford to support both of us.”“What makes her think that she’d lose her job?”“That’s what she’s been told.”“I see. Trevor. I haven’t told her that. Do you think she’s lying and there might be some other reason she might not want to marry you?” If that. Giggle, “Sorry Mr Swenson, but you NEVER wipe a girls bottom from back to front! You ALWAYS wipe from front to back.”By now Linda and Mary were laughing and nodding their heads in agreement. I looked at Bob, just as confused as he was.Trying to think, Bob asked, “Huh?”Mary came over and put her arm around Bob’s shoulder, “You DON’T want to get any ‘poo-poo’ into her little ‘pee-pee’ area, Daddy. You really should get boys to wipe that way too, although it isn’t as critical. Girls don’t have any ‘obstructions’ to keep the poop out of sensitive areas!”“Ohhh shit! I guess I never thought of that.” He looked down at an almost sleeping Olivia, “Sorry Little One, Daddy almost messed up!” He then finished putting on a clean diaper before carefully picking her up and placing her in her bassinet.“You ready to do your son, daddy?” The nurse asked cheerfully.“I guess. I already know one thing to watch out for... ‘old Face-full’!”The nurse was giggling as Bob showed much less trepidation when it.
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